Through the Fatigue

6 Apr

If someone were to ask me what the worst part of this disease has been for me, I wouldn’t have to think about it too long.   It’s the fatigue.  The depths of the fatigue sometimes are unimaginable.

I want to do things.  I want to go be normal and hunt rocks with my friends.  I want to do my crafts, take walks, just generally DO things.  The fatigue keeps my attempts at a bare minimum.  I’m not sure how someone survives cancer on their own once this awful fatigue sets in.  I didn’t think I was going to for awhile.

When I was moving from Oregon, I had not much help other than a guy I paid to take the boxes I packed to storage.  Everything else, shop, cook, pack, etc. was on me.  I became so sick and fatigued I doubted I’d survive.  But I did.

Getting  to my sister’s was a major quest.  It was a 500 mile drive, but I had to pull over every hour or so to rest or sleep.  Even just sitting behind the steering wheel was exhausting.  Once I got to her house, I slept almost 20 hours a day for 2 weeks and still was tired.

While I’ve gained a lot of strength since then, I’m still easily tired, and I know that others with this headache of a disease are, too.  I get dressed everyday whether I’m going out of the house or not because laying around in PJ’s makes me feel like a patient, and I don’t need that.  After I get dressed, I have to rest.  After writing this – I will have to rest.

Okay…….so………the point of all of this isn’t just to whine or complain.  It’s to make others dealing with people with cancer realize how limited energy supplies can be.  The last thing the victim needs is friends who think trying to get them to do something – anything is a good idea. While a daily walk may be necessary and helpful in the healing process, that is the only thing that should be listed as a “must do” for the patient.  If they are tired and want to just sit………let them.  Stress over what they “should” be doing is the last thing that anyone should have to deal with when trying to get well.

I’m sure the amount of fatigue experienced depends somewhat on the stage of cancer someone is in.  I was stage 4 when diagnosed – and exhausted beyond doing anything but dragging myself to the bathroom. My family brought me my food.  Today, I am able to do a few things every day for myself.   I credit the elements I am taking to kill this crud for that.  In my next post I will begin to cover what I’ve been taking and why to achieve a little bit of life again.

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